Archive for the 'Adoption' Category

Another Year — that makes 15 now …

Friday, December 29th, 2017

Oh Lordy, has it been another year already?

Ah, those heady days of 2002, when the concept of blogging was still fairly fresh, and wasn’t the domain of corporations and the cynically ambitious (I’m thinking “mommy bloggers” and “lifestyle bloggers”, but there are others).

15 -- 200 pixelsNobody just blogs as an informal journal any more — that’s what the then nonexistent “social media” is for: The Facebooks, the Snapchats, the Instagrams, the things that old people like me won’t even hear about for another ten years, but which are already indispensable to high school students, and twenty-somethings that think they’re still as cool as high school students.

I mean, why bother, when there’s always Facebook, and the things you post will be automatically foisted on your contacts, without them having to lift a finger to get to your page?

I guess I still maintain this cyberfootprint because it was the one time of my life that I was actually ON the curve, one of my few accomplishments.

Marie and familyI don’t even see fit to post the huge developments in my life — like, for instance, the fact that this past June I finally found my biological family. (I have a sister! And a niece and nephew!) Okay, tell you what: When I actually get to meet them in real life, I’ll be sure to post it here first.

I had been on Ancestry.com for four years (and another DNA site for 11), with nothing to show for it, when one day I got a message from a young woman saying that the DNA test results said that we might be first cousins. She told me her mother’s and grandmother’s names, and I compared that information to what I already know … and I replied, “Well, I’m not your cousin … I’m your uncle.” Needless to say, her mom was a little shocked that she suddenly had a little brother …

Mom at Bryant farm houseAnd in other family news, my mom (adoptive mom, but my mom nonetheless) died on Labor Day of 2016, after a lengthy battle with poor circulation in her legs. She was 95 going on 96, and still had most of faculties (minus a bit of delusional dementia). The first year without her was tough, but I’m beginning to come to terms with it.

Lexi smilingOn a happier note: We now have our third rescue dog (and second Pomeranian), Lexi. She’s only about seven pounds, but she had tons of personality, and Bristol is surprisingly okay with sharing the spotlight (and laps, and treats) with her.

Aaaaaaand … that’s about it. That’s all that’s happened in my life. Sheesh, no wonder I don’t post any more.

But hey, I know life is more than dead loved ones and long lost family. It’s also about food (I tried out three of the meal-kit services in 2017!). It’s about getting older (I’ve finally admitted to myself that pretty much all of the music coming out these days sucks, and is going to keep getting worse, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, for the rest of eternity). It’s about great TV shows and movies and cheap books from the library book sales and tick infestations and things going on in politics that really piss me off.

So yeah, maybe I should post more.

I just shouldn’t expect anyone to read it.

The old Lubbock crewAnd oh yeah, I can’t sign off this blogiversary post without mentioning: At my mom’s funeral I got to visit with some old friends, three-quarters of my old Lubbock crew, seen here looking like a cast photo from a Guy Ritchie heist movie.

So anyway: Yeah, see ya around.

100 Years

Friday, October 28th, 2016

I haven’t posted in a while (don’t you DESPISE posts that start with that phrase?), and a lot has happened in in that time — the death of my mom, my emergency gall bladder surgery last week, the adoption of our second Pomeranian — but here’s something that has to be posted today:

Today is my birth-mother’s 100th birthday. She died in 2007, but still, she was born 100 years ago today.

The point of bringing this up, of course, besides commemorating a milestone of the only genetic relative that I know about, is to announce something that I probably should have mentioned back in April when I first found out: First the first time in my entire life, I have information about my biological family.

I’ve always known I was adopted, and since I turned 21 I’ve had my birth mother’s name (Coral Marie Clifford), but nothing else. Ever since I’ve had access to the internet, I would do an occasional search on the name, but invariably turned up NOTHING.

Then, toward the end of March, an amateur genealogist on Ancestry.com sent me an email because we had some DNA markers in common, and a list of surnames in her family history. I told her that I couldn’t be of any help, since I was adopted and was only in possession of one biological family name. I told her the name, plus the city I was born in, but didn’t expect it to go anywhere.

The next day she sends me another email … this time with a link to my birth-mother’s page on a funeral home website.

I had always assumed that my mother was an unwed teenager, possibly holed up with out-of-town relatives for the winter and spring, but apparently the truth was a lot more complicated than that.

That funeral page showed me not just her dates of birth (she had me when she was 38!) and death (she lived to be 90!), but also the names of both her husbands (I’ve since come to figure out that I was born between the two marriages, and I’m thinking that the second might be my father, since we share a middle name, but that’s only a guess) and the name of a brother that died in 1963.

I still have no clue as to what anybody in my genetic family looked like, but still: Overnight I went from a genetic blip, with no past or future, to at least having a lifeline to my blood-related past.

And today she would have been 100.

I wonder if anyone else in her family is taking any kind of time to remember this one life, and subsequent death, and this day of a huge personal landmark.

And somehow I think they’re not.