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Well, this is it. I’m officially Ancient.

We went to see Episode 3. Like I said before: Last Star Wars movie ever, premiering on the first day of my second half-century … It’s like God is saying, “Hey, you — get off your butt and go see that movie!”

I do as I am told.

In the theatre (but well before it started, I’m not stupid), I called Marrissa at work and said, “Hey, guess what movie I’m waiting to see!” There were other people I could have called too, but she’s the only one who would get really, really frustrated, especially since she’s not going until Saturday.

The movie itself was just okay (more on that later), but when it was over I called her again and said, “WOW, it was GREAT! Best Movie Ever! I can’t believe you’re not going to see it until Saturday!”

You know, just to get her psyched up for it, that’s all …

I couldn’t believe how few people showed up for it — the theatre was only half full. We saw Episodes I & II on their opening days (which were also my birthday, don’t forget), and they were packed, especially the first one.

If I had to sum up the film in two words, I’d say: Too much.

Too much extraneous detail, too much bad dialogue, too much scowling Anakin, too much stuff that didn’t make sense, and WAY too much footage of the Mega-City-and-its-neverending-air-traffic-overload in the background.

And WAY too much Senator/Chancellor/Emperor Palpitate. How could they could even think about rescuing him in the beginning is beyond me. They should have just light-sabered him up and been done with it.

On the upside: We got to see Yoda kick some butt again.

But enough of that: We had killed time before the movie, and I found a treasure trove of bargain-bin books that I decided to birthday-treat myself to (or would have, if The Wife hadn’t insisted on paying). We decided to wait until after the movie to get them, seeing as three of them were “coffee-table” books and thus weighed a half-ton each, and would be inconvenient lugging to the theatre.

I got 100 Years of Comic Strips, 50 Years of Television (hmm, I’m sensing a pattern here), Inside Frank Lloyd Wright (a book on his architecture, not medical x-rays), plus The Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Wisdom.

Hey, they were cheap.

Then, we came home and let the dogs out (who! who! who!) and checked email, then went to Bob’s Chop House for my birthday dinner. They food was great, but possibly a bit rich compared to what I’m used to, because I had to come home, put on some really loose pants, and lay down for a couple of hours.

That’s proof that I’m getting old — knocked out by a dinner.

Anyway: Thanks to The Wife for the best birthday ever!

Here I am in the waning minutes of my Under-50-hood — and it sure doesn’t seem like it’s been that many years. What have I done with all that time? Let’s see, here are the highlights: I was born, got adopted, went to college, got married, moved to Dallas, got a dog, got divorced, got married again, did standup comedy, got computer-technician certified, and started blogging.

That’s about it.

Maybe the next 50 or portion thereof will be more entertaining.

One thing’s for sure, though: I couldn’t have picked a more fascinating time in history to have lived: The late spring/early summer when I was born also saw the births of Disneyland, McDonald’s, and Area 51. In my lifetime there’s been a presidential assassination and a presidental resignation — and, in a single six-month period, there was the shooting of a President, a Pope, and a Beatle (the last one fatal). Communism fell. The Internet was formed. The Twin Towers were built and then destroyed.

I suppose it could be argued that there have been better times in history … but in my time I’ve had novocaine, air conditioning, and portable music players.

Those three things plus fascinating current events are an unbeatable combination.

Anyway, the time for being young is gone, so here’s my opportunity for redefining the aging process.

I’ve been told I’ve already got a good head start.

So: I’ll see you on the other side of 50.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the blog posts of our lives:

Today is the 35th anniversary of the Kent State shootings. Read about the events of that dark day, a new documentary on the subject, and an analysis of the lyrics of Neil Young’s song Ohio, and visit a memorial site, May4.net.